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As the days get shorter, colder, and a little drearier, many of us brace ourselves for that familiar cloud that settles in—seasonal depression. The dread of another dark winter can feel overwhelming. And I'm right there with you. I’ve been navigating seasonal depression my whole life, so I’m not here to give you a pep talk about thinking positive thoughts or putting on a happy face. I know it’s not that simple. However, I've learned that there are ways to make this season a little lighter on yourself.
TLDR; If you have the mental bandwidth to be worried about seasonal depression right now, chances are you have the bandwidth to get ahead of it. There are simple and effective things you can do right now that your future self will thank you for. And all of it can be accomplished by getting a session on the calendar with your therapist.
With that in mind, here are some things that might work for you:
1. Accept the Season’s Natural Slowdown
Here’s a thought you might not hear often—seasonal depression might actually be adaptive. Research exists suggesting that early humans may have engaged in a form of hibernation (e.g., see "Hibernation in Early Humans: Evolutionary Perspective and Implications" by Marina et al., 2020, in the journal 'Frontiers in Physiology'). In fact, much of the modern world still observes winter as a time to slow down. Look at all of the holidays centered around food and rest that happen this time of year. We fatten up. We hunker down. Is it possible that a slowdown is in our DNA? Maybe our bodies are designed to rest and conserve energy during the colder months.
Of course our culture doesn’t really make space for that slowdown. American culture especially tells us to resist the urge to rest, even when our bodies are practically begging for it. How many of us actually ramp UP our efforts to stay busy and keep on the grind as a way to try to fight seasonal depression?
If you've tried this, maybe you've learned what I learned: fighting against this natural rhythm can often lead to feeling like a failure and shame about not being able to just figure it out. Shame fuels depression, reminding you of your perceived failures, which only worsens the cycle. Acknowledging that depression might just be a part of my chemical makeup didn't make my depression go away but it did allow me to continue to function. On the flip side, fighting it exhausted me and made me feel awful about myself. The idea of acceptance isn't to solve the problem but rather to not let one problem create another one.
2. Defuse From Your Thoughts
When you’re in the thick of depression, it can feel like things have never been any other way and that they never will be. This is one of the many ways your brain plays tricks on you when you’re depressed. It tells you stories that aren’t true, and it’s hard to step back from that narrative when you're fully in it. One of the ways you can counter this is by practicing defusion—creating distance between yourself and your thoughts. Another way to look at defusion is to not just accept every negative thing your brain says as truth. It’s just a thought. And a good way to practice this is to provide yourself with alternatives.
Here’s a simple way to get ahead of the negative storytelling: Start now. Write down the things you’re grateful for. Make a photo album or a reel of your summer highlights, things that brought you joy, moments that were bright. You could even write a letter or an email to yourself, scheduled to arrive sometime in December or January, reminding yourself that it hasn’t always been this gloomy and it won’t always be, even if your brain insists that this is the only possible truth. Defusion helps you step back and see that this season, though hard, is temporary. The sadness, though prominent, isn’t the only thing inside of you. And maybe (probably) you’ll come through it, just like you have before.
If you spend enough time with me, I'll start talking about the gratitude jar we've been keeping at our house for the last few years. Each week I write down at least one thing I'm grateful for and put it in there. This practice helps remind me that even though I'm sad, I also have a lot of good in my life. And as a bonus, when January 1st rolls around we dump all of them out and read about how good our year has been. It's a huge boost for my mindset at a time when I really need it.
3. Stay Connected to Your Values
When depression hits, it’s easy to lose your grip on the things that matter most. You might skip your workouts, drop your creative hobbies, or start to perform poorly at work. This really amplifies the sadness. When this happens, it's important to decide on 2-3 things that are non-negotiable to keep in your life and a willingness to ditch everything else until you have the energy. Choose a few things that align with your deepest values—whether it’s your spiritual practice, your fitness goals, or maintaining connection with people you care about—and commit to staying connected to them, even if you’re not doing them perfectly.
For example, maybe you stop going to the gym four times a week but you commit to going for a short walk every day. Or maybe your work performance slips but you stay committed to maintaining the relationships that are important to you. By keeping your values front and center, you create a buffer against the sense of loss that often accompanies depression.
4. Plan to be Delighted.
I used to spend so much time anticipating the depression that I practically willed it into existence. I would convince myself, long before winter hit, that it was going to be awful. I’d make up all these worst-case scenarios in my head and get myself so worked up that by the time the actual cold and dark set in, I was already deep in a pit of anxiety and sadness. And guess what? None of that predicting ever helped me prepare or cope better when the real thing arrived.
Looking back, I’m pretty sure I brought the depression on a few times simply by being so wrapped up in the fear of it. After watching this video about how we predict ourselves into existence, I'm actually quite sure of it. What if we gave ourselves permission to believe that this winter might be different? At least consider the possibility that it might not be as bad as you’re expecting. Your thoughts have a powerful influence on how you experience the world, and while it’s not always easy, choosing a different narrative can sometimes change the story.
I'm not talking denial or toxic positivity here. The reality is that this thing still might come and take you out this year just like it has in the past. But our brains have a funny way of interpreting the world in a way that meets our expectations. Think of this, you probably haven't noticed any yellow cars today. But just because you read this sentence, the likelihood that you'll see one in the next 24 hours and take note of it increases. Entertaining the idea that things could actually be OK this winter allows your brain to grab ahold of evidence that you could fare better this time around and create a world that meets that prediction.
Now Is the Time to Get Ahead of It
All of this gets easier if you understand a little bit about your brain and prepare for it ahead of time. The winter months are tough enough without having to figure it all out while you’re in the middle of it. Now, while you’re feeling resourced, is the time to set yourself up for success. Write down your three priorities, get an email scheduled to send to yourself, get your gratitudes, schedule a therapy appointment - whatever you think will help, just do it now.
If you'd like some help, let’s create a plan for this winter, together. You don’t have to face seasonal depression on your own. Take the step now, while you’re feeling strong, and make sure you have a lifeline in place for when things get hard. Your future self will thank you.
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